after Gregory Orr’s Self Portrait at 20
I stand beside myself and
see how others see me.
Long hair like a waterfall,
a flimsy shield
in which I can hide myself.
Because my skin
is the color of milk,
I know: this is not as
unlucky as it feels.
Because my round cheeks
have not always been round,
I know: this is mine to undo
as I have done.
And yet,
it was not the sight of myself
but the way you looked at me
that gave me the courage to
do what comes next.
I stood outside of myself for
so long before
stepping back in,
ready to embrace
what I found there.
I stand beside myself and
see how others see me.
Long hair like a waterfall,
a flimsy shield
in which I can hide myself.
Because my skin
is the color of milk,
I know: this is not as
unlucky as it feels.
Because my round cheeks
have not always been round,
I know: this is mine to undo
as I have done.
And yet,
it was not the sight of myself
but the way you looked at me
that gave me the courage to
do what comes next.
I stood outside of myself for
so long before
stepping back in,
ready to embrace
what I found there.
